I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
