I bet he comes in French.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
