this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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