Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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