I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
