if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's get the cat blown out
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
