how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
