One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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