I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
