Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
