i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
