Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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