ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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