I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
