plz talk dirty to me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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