I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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