Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
