Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
