I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
