therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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