Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
