Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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