Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
