i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
