Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
