saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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