Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
