YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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