I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
