why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize