Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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