Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
