1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
