making cat noises will not fix the situation.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
