now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize