So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
