Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
