you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize