On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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