She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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