is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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