My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
