you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
