if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
