He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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