Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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