You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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