I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
