Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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