We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
