I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I need water and some morals
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
