I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
