chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
