none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I enjoy the company of your penis
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
