About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
