So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Randomize
