I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize