You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
