walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
