AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
