Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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