I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
