He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
